Granna, he usted to know my name….

Sunday was Mothers Day and I had the joy of spending time with my children. Daniel called, but he was preaching so I did not see him. We had celebrated earlier with a wonderful meal that Daniel cooked. I love my kids, and they were very kind to me on this special day. I had a moment of thought about my own mother and I could not even start to write about how wonderful she was, or how much I still miss her after these almost 9 years.
After lunch, David, Kim, Addi, MaMa, and myself made a trip to the nursing home to see PaPa. It was after lunch and PaPa was sitting in the TV room sound asleep. We shook, and called his name, but PaPa was out of it. Addi got in front of him and started yelling,
”PaPa, PaPa!” Finally David helped him get on his feet and he looked down at Addi and for a brief second, there was a smile. Addi asked Kim, “Why doesn’t PaPa know my name?”
I took Addi for a walk to the front hall to see the bird atrium. As we were walking Addi asked- “Why do these old people like me?” That was a simple answer- you are cute and they don’t see many kids. Then she said, in her absolute sweetest voice ever, “Granna, he usted to know my name.” This, of course, was in reference to her PaPa Courington. Yes, he “usted” to know all of our names, but now that is no longer the case. Sometimes he smiles like he recognizes that we might be somewhat familiar, but hardly ever a name. Addi does not understand Alzheimer’s , nor do I. It is a sad disease. It is a cruel disease. It is indeed, the long goodbye. So, we have to remember when PaPa did remember our names, and hold on to those memories. It is hard to watch someone that you love turn into someone that does not know you. But, he has no control over this disease, for if he did he would argue it down and overcome it! We love you, PaPa, and we know that your heart knows us even if your mind does not.